Ruthless Read online

  Dedication

  For Eva

  Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Book One 1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  9

  10

  11

  12

  13

  14

  Book Two 1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  9

  10

  11

  12

  Book Three 1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  Book Four 1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  Book Five 1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  9

  10

  11

  12

  13

  14

  15

  16

  Book Six 1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  9

  10

  11

  12

  13

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  By Sarah Tarkoff

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  Prologue

  I’m dreading what comes next.

  Recounting all the steps that brought me to this point, the stories you didn’t know, that was easy. Because while I made plenty of mistakes along the way, becoming a prophet wasn’t a mistake in and of itself. It was what I chose to do next that keeps me up at night.

  I’ve gone over and over the chapters that follow, agonizing over each word. I’ve convinced myself that if somehow I find the right ones, in the right order, you’ll see things the way I saw them. Now that the dust has settled, maybe you’ll understand me. Or at least, maybe you’ll hate me just a little bit less.

  I’m sorry I failed you. I believed I could help, and I hope that in some ways I managed to. I hope that despite everything I made worse, I made some things better, too. I hope that in time, you’ll forgive me.

  Dear readers, it turns out, it is your forgiveness I wanted all along.

  With all the love of whoever and whatever you still believe in,

  Grace Luther

  c/o Arlington Federal Prison

  Book One

  1

  “Welcome home, Prophet Grace.”

  Home. My feet had touched the ground for mere minutes; this little Outcast outpost in northeast Brazil couldn’t be home. But Tutelo, Virginia, had stopped being home the moment I gave that speech in South Africa. It couldn’t be, not with a father who was so disappointed in me, where death lurked, waiting to pounce if I came within the prophets’ reach. No, I was a girl in search of a new home. And for now, this one would have to do.

  After escaping from the stadium in South Africa, Dawn, Zack, and I had managed to traverse the turbulent Atlantic Ocean to find a perch on the coast near an Outcast metropolis called Redenção, named for the Portuguese word for “redemption.” Even from afar, it was a massive, glittering marvel, the ocean lapping right up to its feet.

  As I took in the sparkling sight, I was skeptical; how had I never heard that this massive city existed? But as Dawn reminded me, any achievement by Outcasts was seen by the mainstream world as a thorn in the eye of Great Spirit, a sign that following the prophets wasn’t the only way to achieve success and prosperity. So Redenção had remained no more than a whisper . . . until now, as it shouted its majesty loud and clear from the shore.

  Hundreds of Outcast citizens of the city had assembled by the docks to pay their respects, to welcome me. Their furious adoration overwhelmed us, the smells of their bodies permeating the air. It’s okay, I wanted to tell them. It’s all a big con. None of this is real. But without access to the pills that would cure them of their guilt, I couldn’t tell them the truth. Couldn’t do anything but smile and nod and perform my part. After spending months playing double agent in Prophet Joshua’s army, I hadn’t thought there could be any role more difficult. Apparently, I’d been wrong.

  As the crowd grew more excited, pressing closer to me, I was startled by a faint buzzing from high above us—a drone, whizzing above the city. Before anyone else could react, the captain of our ship whipped out a gun and took it down in one shot, sending it careening into the ocean in a blaze of flaming metal. “The prophets will use those to track your movements,” the captain warned us. “Stay out of sight, or the missiles will come next.”

  Fear lodged itself in my throat. Everywhere we went, we’d be targets, endangering whomever we came close to. And seeing the fervor in that captain’s eyes, I worried what might have transpired if that metal spy had been a human one—would this devotee have been just as willing to kill in my name?

  The longer we stayed out in the open, we knew, the greater our risk of being spotted again. So the mayor of Redenção shuffled us away from the fray, leaving the crew of our boat behind. “We cannot hide you in the city,” he said ominously. “The prophets will find you. But I will take you to someone who can help.”

  He introduced us to a small, well-dressed man with skin that shone like amber and a fast-talking charm that made you quickly forget his Outcast appearance. His malformed face twisted into a warm smile. “I am Eduardo Sousa,” he introduced himself. “Your new best friend.”

  And indeed, Sousa immediately began living up to that promise. As his hunched frame limped ahead of us, hurrying to open the town car door, he barraged me with compliments, keen to befriend the so-called prophet. While he was eager to protect us from the dangers we’d told him were closing in, it was clear he wasn’t ready to stop there. He hoped that some of my prophet’s aura would rub off on him, that my imaginary specialness would somehow make him special. I wished I felt special, felt like anything other than a fraud.

  As Sousa helped us traverse the roads around Redenção, I realized those worshippers at the shore were just the tip of the iceberg. I was stunned to see my own face plastered on walls all throughout the area—fliers, graffiti, banners hanging from windows. I was everywhere. “How did they all know she was coming?” Dawn asked, nervous.

  “They didn’t,” Sousa said simply.

  “This isn’t some kind of show they’re putting on for me?” I asked, confounded.

  Sousa shook his head. “You are Grace, prophet of the Outcasts. And this is a city of Outcasts.”

  As we passed banner after banner, Zack’s eyes glazed over in disbelief. “I guess they like you.”

  It suddenly hit me. I was a worldwide phenomenon. A role that came with obligations and consequences so huge I couldn’t yet comprehend them. And there was no turning back.

  2

  As we drove, the sight of my own face emblazoned everywhere gave me a strange thrill. I’d never run for student council, never done anything that required leadership skills or real responsibility. My father had always taught me that the way to make Great Spirit proud was to be of service, to be humble. Making myself a prophet . . . that wasn’t exactly humble.

  My stomach churned with regret. I was just an eighteen-year-old kid with no idea what I was doing. Why had I put myself in this position? How had I convinced all these people that I had any kind of wisdom? Sooner or later, I
knew they’d realize I was a fraud.

  “I need to find a way to tell people the truth,” I whispered to Dawn when Sousa stopped to refuel the car. “You know, that I’m not really a prophet.”

  She handily refuted, “No one’s really a prophet.”

  “Then shouldn’t I be saying that? That all the prophets are lying, not just me?”

  “And risk billions dying because they question the truth?” Dawn challenged.

  “Being Prophet Grace has its own risks,” I pointed out. “Pretending I’m godly feels wrong, and against everything we’ve been fighting for.”

  Dawn shook her head, firm. “It’s a lie that will save lives. Letting the world believe in some new prophet is safer than taking all their prophets away at once. You know how people are . . . they need something to believe in. Who knows, maybe you’ll even be able to inspire some good in them.”

  I nearly laughed in her face. “So what, you’re an idealist now?”

  Her cynical tone gave away the truth behind her words. “When you’re desperate, idealism’s all you’ve got left.” I accepted that wisdom—right now, I, too, was clinging to idealism’s desperate hope.

  I shifted in my seat, anxiously scanning the horizon for more of those flying cameras. “My mother said Prophet Joshua had allies left. Do we have any idea who they might be, who might be after us?”

  “Any of the hundreds of other prophets you didn’t sic a murderous crowd on?” Zack muttered sarcastically. Dawn had already warned me that the Brazilian Prophet Daniel would be hunting for us if he got even a whiff that we were in town—and if that drone had spotted us in Redenção, he’d already be on our scent.

  “If we don’t know who’s allied with the prophets, how will we ever find anywhere truly safe?” I asked, the fear seeping into my bones.

  “Sousa’s working on it,” Dawn said, trying to reassure me.

  I glanced at Sousa outside the car, hoping he wouldn’t catch my gaze. “And are we sure we can trust him? My mother sent us to him, after all.” I was wary of trusting anyone who might be working for Esther.

  Dawn nodded; clearly she’d thought of that, too. “Esther sent us to this city, knowing Outcasts would protect you. I don’t think anyone here knows the truth. Sousa may not be a part of the resistance, but unfortunately we’re out of members of the resistance, or the means to make more.” For safety, we’d gone radio silent since leaving South Africa, which meant we’d lost access to our supply of uppers—fine for the three of us, who’d acclimated to our own heresy. But it meant that for the moment we had to keep mum about the truth to anyone outside our circle of confidence, for fear that doubting what they’d been told was gospel might kill them. “But luckily we have you. People will do anything for Prophet Grace.”

  That was the real reason she didn’t want me to recant. She needed my influence to protect us. “Where is Sousa taking us?” I asked.

  “Inland, as far from the prophets as we can get.”

  Zack moved closer to me, voice light, trying to cheer me up. “Hey, we get to go on an adventure. Things could be worse, right?”

  As he smiled, a bit of a thrill went through me. Despite what we’d been through, and despite what might lie ahead, I was secretly excited to share this journey with him. I looked at Zack, thinking of all the roles he’d held in my life. Macy’s cute, aloof older brother. Then my enemy, a seeming assassin. And now . . . I wasn’t sure what he was to me, what we were to each other. But I knew I wanted to be close to him. I squeezed Zack’s hand as Sousa returned, and our car hurtled toward its destination: the Amazon rainforest.

  3

  We traversed the bleak, dusty slums surrounding Redenção, teeming with poor Outcasts going about their daily lives. Seeing my name emblazoned in graffiti on these tin roofs, it finally sunk in, the sheer number of strangers my words had reached.

  When the run-down structures finally gave way to the scrabbly brush of open country, I noticed Zack was asleep beside me. My adrenaline was wearing off, and after many sleepless nights on the boat, it felt nice to drift away from the world into an anxious, fitful slumber.

  It wasn’t until the first few rays of morning light streamed into the car that I stirred and looked around at the muddy brown roads. Though we seemed to be out in the middle of nowhere, this certainly didn’t look like the rainforest. “Are we close?” I asked Dawn.

  “Are we there yet?” Zack ribbed me.

  “I’ll take that as a no,” I grumbled, and Dawn pulled out a map. As she traced our path with her finger, I remembered just how huge Brazil was—we had another day’s drive ahead of us still. As morning slipped into afternoon, rain started pelting our windshield, and I took that as a good sign that we were getting closer. Indeed, before my eyes I could see the trees growing taller, as the roads became bumpier.

  Dawn and Sousa traded off driving, one sleeping as the other piloted, stopping only for fuel and bathroom breaks. “We can’t risk coming into contact with too many people,” she explained.

  “Do you think anyone’s following us?” I whispered, once I could see that Sousa was asleep in the passenger seat. “Maybe one of those cameras spotted us and we didn’t see it.”

  “I’ll feel better when we get off the road,” she whispered back.

  “You said all our safe houses were burned. Where are we going, if it isn’t somewhere the resistance hides people?”

  “Sousa has a place out in the country, remote enough that we should be able to avoid scrutiny.” Despite Dawn’s assurances that we could trust this charming stranger, I still had my doubts.

  My worry for the three of us quickly blossomed into concern for all my other friends. I’d hoped that by now we would’ve heard something out of Turkey, but I knew they had no real way to contact us. I thought of Jude and Layla and Mohammed and Irene, everyone whose survival had hung in the balance since Joshua’s army had surrounded their stronghold. The standoff must have resolved itself one way or another by now. My stomach churned with worry as I imagined where Jude could be right now . . . or not be.

  Even now, with Jude’s life in danger and our relationship far in the rearview, I still felt a warmth in my chest when I thought of him. Like we were tied together by some thread, across oceans, which would always connect our hearts. As massive as the forces that threatened us might be, Jude’s fate would always loom even larger in my mind. I’d once been prepared to leave the rest of the world behind for his sake, and some part of me still felt that way, still felt like the needs of the people I loved were so much more important than the well-being of a globe full of strangers. My stomach tightened with a sick thought: If we gave those strangers freedom, but I lost Jude, would all this still be worth it?

  As the sky grew dark outside, I found myself nodding off again. Zack wordlessly pulled me closer to him, letting my head fall into his lap, as he stroked my hair. A silent acknowledgment that there was something between us, though neither of us had the courage yet to voice exactly what it was. Feeling safe in his arms, I fell into an easy, comfortable sleep once again. I had no idea what might be coming next, but I had a feeling I’d want to be well rested once we got there.

  Well into our second day of driving, we finally arrived at a ramshackle outpost with a battered terra-cotta roof. Sousa parked the car and gestured for us to get out. “Here?” I asked. This little structure didn’t look very secure, nor did it seem particularly stable. I doubted this shack would hold up to a rough shake, much less Prophet Daniel’s artillery.

  “No, there.” He gestured to an overgrown path behind the building, and a lurch went through my stomach.

  Don’t trust him, the voice in my head whispered. That darn voice, the malicious nanotech that had made me fear those I was supposed to trust. While with mental focus I’d managed to mute it most of the time, we still hadn’t found a way to fully get rid of it. Though we’d stolen the secret code that was supposed to be able to destroy all the bugs in our brains and restore the world to the way it used to be,
the machine required to activate it was back in South Africa.

  Ironically, the voice’s resurgence now was enough to give me the confidence that I could trust Sousa—as long as the prophets didn’t want me to trust him, that was as good a sign as any that I should trust him, right? I hopped out of the car, lugging as much baggage as I could carry through the thick mud at our feet. Seeing me struggling, Zack hurried to grab a bag and lighten my load. “Prophets shouldn’t be carrying their own luggage,” he teased.

  I grinned, hauling what I could. “What can I say, I’m a woman of the people.” As the four of us arrived at the end of the path, we found a small dock with an old rowboat, large enough to ferry all our supplies, but half rotted out. Sousa found a rag to plug a hole in its hull as we loaded it up.

  Zack eyed our transportation. “You’d have to be a woman of the people, to ride in that.”

  Within a few minutes, we were rowing off. “Welcome to the Amazon Highway,” Sousa said proudly. I looked at the wet “road” ahead of us—hoping desperately that it would lead somewhere safe.

  4

  Our boat wasn’t on a river exactly, so much as the whole forest had become a lake, a slick, expansive pool that stretched as far as the eye could see, with dense pockets of trees piercing its surface. “It’s rainy season,” Sousa explained, as he navigated us through the maze. “Those trees are twice as tall as they look. In the winter you can walk here, but in the summer, it floods like this.” That reminded me that we were in the Southern Hemisphere—it was summer here. I leaned over the edge of the boat, trying to see down to the bottom, but Sousa pulled me back. “Careful.”

  “What’s down there?” I asked.

  “Anacondas. Piranha. Eels. Caiman, like big alligators . . .”

  “Got it!” I said, hoping he’d stop naming terrifying things. I stayed as close to the center of the boat as I could, squinting my eyes against the blazing sun. The air was thick with the sounds of cooing birds, calling monkeys, and the mosquitoes buzzing around our necks.